swim

how do you know who loves you. loves you exactly the way you need to be loved. oh my, would i so like to spit out a formula right now. i have none. i know a quirky formula that has proven true for me, and i hope you find yours. my formula is a strong swimmer. yup, that’s it. any person who has loved me, at that moment, with all they had to give, has been a strong swimmer. anytime i’ve been loved right back, bigger, better, stronger than me, it’s come from one who can swim better than me. i can swim. i swim from here to there. i get tired easily and i have absolutely no style. i cannot hide from the true me, in the water. each of the four people who have loved me, exactly in that way most people dream about being loved, saw me in the water and loved me. they, without knowing what they were giving, showed me i was safe. i felt secure in that moment. i could flip, flop, flounder, and float, they were there to save me. they knew i would drown, they were there, they cheered me on, they showed off and they swam. i swam.